Creating Community
I have had a number of mamas tell me that they found their medicine when they found their community. Having a baby is a right of passage into a new role and a new way of being. There is honor, wisdom, and love like no other known when you become a mother. As you celebrate this right of passage, lean in on your community and don’t let fear of “not doing it right” or the “shoulds” and “ought to’s” stop you from finding your crew.
Women need women, especially at the onset of motherhood. We are stronger in the collective when we share, laugh, cry, and join together in this discovery of ourselves and of our newborns.
Personally, I struggled with many of the community options I initially found as a new mom. I tried lactation groups, baby times, and exercise groups. As a mom who was struggling to breastfeed her baby (an act I thought would come completely naturally), I left lactation groups exhausted and defeated after being told multiple times by lactation consultants (multiple, mind you) that you are doing everything right, but it just doesn’t seem to be working. For me, baby times seemed forced and more draining. Exercise groups felt like a better fit as I was craving time outdoors, but cold and snowy spring days and sleepless nights challenged my enthusiasm for these interactions as well.
What I found, is that my community came from an unexpected place. I reconnected with an old acquaintance who pulled me into a community of new moms. We met over food, conversation, tears, and laughter. None of them were “specialists” in the field of maternal health. None of them were doctors or psychologists, but all of them were experienced in the trade of raising new life. They got it. They knew the ups and downs, and though we didn’t all share the same journey, we were all in connection through empathy and a shared desire to pick ourselves up and keep going on our journey to raise loved, nourished, and supported kids.
Community can come in lots of disguises, so find the one that best fits you and give it a shot. You may be amazed to find an endless well of healing in the support and understanding of other moms. Also, don’t let my experiences that didn’t fit me be a deterrent to you as we all have our own pathways and passions, but do know you’re not alone if what seems like a great group for other women isn’t the right fit for you.
Danielle Hughes is the Founder of Mothering Life and a mother of two. She is an INNATE Postpartum Care practitioner and provides information and resources to expectant and new mothers, so motherhood can be the celebration that it is meant to be.
